Attack of the Plot Bunnies
by Nightmare Before Halloween
Summary: Oh snap, Kate the Mary Sue is plotting to send her Plot Bunnies to invade CHB! What will the writers of do? Join the LEague of Awesome Writers, of course! Rated T for cartoon violence.
1. Prologue

Attack of the Plot Bunnies

Disclaimer:I never will own PJO, but I do own Your Worst Plotness and the listed plot bunnies!

Three terribly played trumpets rang out to announce the arrival of Your Worst Plotness. She was a beautiful blond daughter of Zeus, Aphrodite, Poseidon, Hera, et cetera et cetera(A/N:Your Worst Plot-ness is a Mary-Sue. This IS A PARODY!). Your Worst Plot had eyes that could mesmerize anybody they wanted to, and she has a bajillion bunnies she calls Plots. Your Worst Plot is actually named Caitlyn, but she was waaaaaay too cool to be called Kate or Caitlyn. Of course she was a goddess (of Circuit City and plots), what did you think, silly mortal reader! Your Worst Plot rules all these plots in her kingdom of Fanfiction. Net, where she has recently seen a spike in production of plots.

In one smooth and swift motion, Kate(A/N:I'll call her that now) was at her throne, made up of white bunnies labeled 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, all the way to one hundred. She sat down and whispered to her right hand servant, a Plot on two legs,"Any news?"

"Of course, Your Worst Plotness! Eh,well..... These stories have become better and better, Your Worst Plotness.... Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus galore!"

Kate nodded and shut her eyes, smiling."My hard work has payed off. We only have one section left to convert:the Percy Jackson and the Olympians section. They will crumble once they see my Plot Bunnies."

The servant to her left cleared her throat. She was a girl, named Lisa, who was, unfortunately, from one of the most neglected sections in the world:the Twilight section. Lisa was pretty, but could not best Kate's looks. She was no vampire, but was a piece of vampire bait who was fated to fall hopelessly in love with _Edward Cullen._ "Ma'am, they will not convert. They have the power of a million souls, unlike the Eragon and Twilight sections, littered with hopeless stories."

Kate opened her eyes in one brilliant motion and glared at her left hand servant."Are you so sure, Lisa? Would you like to meet the same fate as your mother, who was bitten and killed by Edward Cullen and instead of dying fall in love with a Gary-Stu like him?"

"B-but, what about all the good writers, like---"

"There are no good writers!"Kate snapped."Only those who make overperfect and all-powerful characters are allowed to live!"

"But most of the good writers are still alive!"Lisa argued."They are in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians section!"

"I must not argue with a servant,"Kate grumbled."I'm too beautiful for this. "Guards, send Lisa to Edward! He will be happy to have her back."

"What? Nooooooo!"Lisa moaned as three overgrown bunnies dragged her into a dark and scary room. There was a shout of "LISA!" and a scream, but there was no more after Kate waved her hand, shutting the large doors with her uber awesome magically powers.

"Now..... To make more plots."Kate grinned to herself as she took out a pen and began to write on a white rabbit baby. The ink faded as she wrote, but she didn't mind. Plots were always supposed absorb the ink as Kate wrote, so the writing was implanted into the bunnies' tiny brains.

"Ma'am?"asked her new left hand servant. And guess who it was! It was Hestia, Kate's seventy-fifth mother. Her blond hair was tied back into a bun, but even she could not match Your Worst Plotness's beauty."We have had a complaint; an author who calls himself The Gray Soul(A/N:Made up, don't ask.) has begun to cause riots and massacres of Plots in the Eragon section. Shall I send out the Plot Troops?"

"Yes, yes,"Kate grumbled impatiently as she tossed away the bunny."Don't forget to make me some green tea. I'm much too beautiful and intelligent to do it myself."

Hestia nodded and disappeared in a flash of green light as the Plot on two legs tapped Kate's shoulder."Your Worst Plotness, ma'am, we have a problem."

"Yes? If it has nothing to do with the Eragon, Twilight, Maximum Ride, or Percy Jackson and the Olympians sections, do not speak to me. I am too awesome for any other talk."

The Plot knit his eyebrows together, sighing."The Harry Potter section has seceded and is warning the Percy Jackson and the Olympians section. They will warn them, and we will fail."

"WHAT?! We never fail!"Kate screeched. All the Plot soldiers and council scattered at the sight of their angry master. Then, she smiled, sending sparkles all over the place."Tell them.... Tell them that we will crush them underfoot. Send a messenger to Camp Half-Blood, to Chiron. I want them to surrender and fall to their knees and beg for mercy."

"Well, too late, then. They'd been warned. Shall we run?"

"I'M TOO AWESOME TO RUN!"Kate screamed."In fact, send the son of Gaea t o go and warn them. He is too ugly for me."

Kate's right hand servant nodded and hopped away hopelessly. The Plot was no fool to mess with his master, but he'd had more than enough information. He turned into the deserted section of the castle, only to find a girl standing there. She had dark hair and equally dark hair, but she was a rebel, from the Harry Potter section.

"Does she suspect?"the girl rasped. Of course, Kate was too busy to suspect, so she didn't really suspect. Really, if you ruled a kingdom like Fanfiction. Net, you'd be busier than the President of the USA.

The Plot shook his furry white head, muttering,"No. She will not suspect. Tell the League of Uber Fantastic Writers that she will send a son of Gaea to Chiron later."

The girl nodded."I will. Tell me, have any Writers been executed? I have been told that one has."

The Plot looked sadly at the ceiling of the beautiful castle(Kate couldn't stand to live in an ugly brick castle, so she turned it into a skyscraper-castle thing)."Yes. She will, not yet, execute The Gray Soul."

"Fools,"the girl muttered."They do not know the power of the PJO section. Kate will finally fall to Percy Jackson's hand."

"She will."

**A/N:Like it or hate it? This is a prologue, and the next chapter will soon be up. I want to ask some readers about something:I need to make members of the League of Uber Fantastic Writers or a Rebel, PM or review this story to become a member.**


	2. Bananas

Plot Bunnies

Disclaimer:I still don't own PJO or Harry Potter.

--------Harry, Half-Blood Hill, 11:24 pm---------

_Have to get away,_ Harry Potter thought as he cradled a scroll in his arms. It was from Dumbledore, and Harry couldn't look, but it was definitely important. A minotaur and something that kept screaming "FOOOOOOOD!" was chasing Harry around, from Hogwarts to this.... abandoned place. A pine tree loomed overhead, and thunder began to rumble in the distance. The minotaur, dressed in a _tuxedo_(grimace), roared and charged, but a dark figure emerged from the tree, stopping it immediately.

"Harry Potter, how pleasant to see you,"rumbled a tinny, small voice. The figure was a rabbit on two legs, marked as #1009078342, wearing a business suit and a baseball cap."My master knew you'd be here. Be a nice boy and hand over that scroll. It's meant for me."

"Is your name Chiron?"asked Harry anxiously, clutching the scroll to his chest."Dumbledore told me to only give it to Chiron."

"No,"rasped the bunny."My name is #1009078342, my master's right hand servant. Hand it over, Potter, before I go all kung-fu on you."

Harry raised his wand and was about to yell "Expelliarmus!", but the Plot appeared before him, snapping the wand in half. The bunny elbowed him between the eyes, knocking him out for a good several hours, and snatched the scroll away from his hands. The Plot pressed on the

sides, and it flipped open,revealing a letter:

Dear Chiron,

I know we haven't had a conversation in a while, so I will say this:Have a nice day!

Your friend,

Albus Dumbledore.

The Plot bellowed in anger, and tossed the letter with all its bunny might, straight into a Big House window. The minotaur and the other thing, out of fright, ran away for their mom and some tea. Fuming, the Plot intoned a deadly plot:"Percy gets into big trouble with Zeus, and is poisoned by Ares. Will love save him?"

It cackled and, in a shower of fur, the Plot was gone.

---------Chiron, Big House, 11:27 pm--------

Chiron flipped on his radio just as a scroll flew straight into his back, shattering the glass window. He yowled in pain, but took a glance at the open letter on the floor.

The code for "Attack at dawn" or "Have a nice day" was mentioned, and Chiron flew gracefully out of the window, shattering it beyond repair, to go wake everybody up. This was an important matter, as you know, because Chiron was going to have some pizza, and he hates cold lunches.

"Wake up! Up and at 'em!"Chiron yelled, shoving doors open."We must prepare for an attack!"

"Attack?"mumbled Percy Jackson, trying to straighten his unkempt hair."Wha---"

There was a strangled choke, and Percy Jackson fell to the floor, choking, poisoned. The plot, as you know, was that Percy would be poisoned, and so he was. Percy began to turn blue, just as Annabeth walked over to check on him.

"CHIRON! AMBULANCE! APOLLO CAMPER! CHUCK NORRIS! ANYYYYYBOOOODDDDYYY!"Annabeth screeched, and began hopping around like a mad bunny, waving her arms around like a crazed chicken. Of course, though, a certain somebody watched through a crystal ball, chortling as she watched Annabeth scream for help.

---------Your Worst Plotness, Plot Castle, 11:45 pm--------

Kate sipped a Dr. Pepper as she watched Annabeth Chase scream madly for help. It was fairly amusing to watch her, especially since Annabeth was as cool as Antarctica and smooth as a piece of glass. Kate turned to her right hand servant just as he treaded back in and said,"Any new info?"

"No, Your Worst Plotness. All it said was to 'Have a nice day!'"The Plot grimaced and put down his hat, scowling at Dumbledore's stupidity."Honestly, good writers might be appreciated now....."

"No!"Kate snapped."There's no reason to. We have eliminated many already, and my Plots are good enough. I'm too beautiful to argue with you, so fetch me some tea and some crimpets! "

---------Harry Potter, Half-Blood Hill, 12:00 am---------

Harry groaned, opening his eyes as rain began to fall. The area between his eyes throbbed, making his vision fuzzy. His glasses were broken, and his vision was so fuzzy that Harry thought it was bunny galore. Then, he remembered:that bunny on two legs. Summoning up all his anger, Harry stood up and with a "Reparo!" he fixed and put on his glasses. Harry began to trudge up the hill, and to his surprise, he began to see kids running around with swords and shields.

"Watch it!"he barked."You could poke my eye out with those things!"

The girl who'd just bumped into him, Clarisse La Rue, growled,"You should be preparing, punk, not dilly-dallying."

With that, the girl ran off as she brandished a spear with electricity buzzing off the end. Harry wanted to say she looked rather ridiculous in sky blue pajamas dotted with sleeping puppies on clouds, but Chiron rushed over to him and said,"Good, you're here. Go get the bananas."

"Bananas?"

Unfortunately for Harry, this wasn't the real Chiron. This was an illusion, because he was still unconscious on the ground at Half Blood Hill. The illusion Chiron nodded and said,"Bananas are deadly. They killed my mother. They can kill anything."

"_What?!_"Harry exclaimed, but before Chiron could explain, something hit Harry in the arm, the leg, the head, the chest. Stupid bananas!

-**A/N:Like it or hate it? Constructive criticism is appreciated, thank you very much. Review please!**


	3. Aish Sheva

PB 3

Disclaimer:I do not own PJO, or Aish Sheva.

-----------Aish Sheva, Writing Office, 6:13 pm-----------

Aish Sheva scowled at a handwritten letter in her hands. Beautiful writing, obviously a Mary-Sue's, littered the paper. Her generally hazel eyes flaring angrily, Aish skimmed the letter, the point obviously in the first sentence:"Give up or I'll kill you with my Plots."

Aish Sheva, of course, was an excellent writer who battles constant Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians section. She had shoulder length black hair, tan skin from all the Mary-Sue slaying she does, hazel eyes(that changed colors sometimes, but generally is hazel). She always slides her side bangs behind her ears so she can watch the terror on the faces of the Mary-Sues she kills, and Aish's bangs usually got into her eyes.

"Give up?"Aish muttered angrily, and tossed the paper into a trash bin. She picked up a drachma, tossed it into a rainbow that had just appeared outside(it was raining, but had only just stopped) and said,"Dumbledore, Hogwarts."

A man with white hair and a beard in blue robes appeared, his eyes half closed under half moon spectacles. He looked up lazily from a paper he was reading and said,"You got the letter too?"

"Very much,"Aish hissed, and shot a nasty glare at the paper. The Mary-Sue hunter wolf, Seaborg the silver wolf, was chewing up the paper. Seaborg shook her head fiercely, shredding the paper into confetti."Good girl."

Seaborg barked happily, her golden eyes wide, as Dumbledore chuckled and incinerated his letter with a spell."Aish, I shouldn't have allowed Kate in Hogwarts. Boys chased her everywhere, until Snape and I had to tutor her personally."

Aish snorted and looked at her sword, hanging from the wall. It was covered with black ink, Mary-Sue blood. She wished that it wasn't her job to successfully eliminate Mary-Sues from the PJO section, but all her predecessors had done it. It was her turn, and she'd keep trying until she died trying."Of course. Do you think we should go to Camp Half-Blood today?"

"They're preparing for the Plot attack, which might not happen at all. Really, I'm not very sure about anything. Did you know that my name might actually be----"

"Carlisle Cullen, pfft, I've listened to you say that a million times."Aish glanced at the sword again and turned her back to Dumbledore, rummaging through her desk for a pen and notepad. Finally, she found a fountain pen and a notepad decorated with doodles of Kate getting her head chopped off and Seaborg running away with the head."Maybe we should go today, find the others."

"The others can fend for themselves,"Dumbledore said gravely, and held up a blank piece of paper. Immediately, several names popped up, each with a blue line slashed through them. The blue lines stood for Mary-Sue invaded, which meant, obviously, that they'd converted to Kate's side. Only one red line was among the twelve slashed names, which meant that author was dead."These fellows, however, were unlucky to meet numbers 13, 666, and 777. The Terror Trio."

"Them."Aish scowled and looked at Seaborg. Some kind of understanding passed through the two hunters as they stared at each other, and finally Seaborg got up and trotted downstairs, to The Gray Soul's office to retrieve his wolf's armor. Each Mary-Sue hunter got a wolf, but The Gray Soul had been with them forever, and once a hunter dies, the wolf fades into dust. Aish muttered softly,"I can't believe Gray got caught."

"He got arrogant."Dumbledore looked up at Fawkes, who was perched on the chandelier. Fawkes chirped softly and soared out an open window, into the fading light of the sun. Dumbledore sighed and looked at Aish with his old, calm eyes. Dumbledore had lead the Mary-Sue hunters, and everybody felt like he was their father:stern, but very understanding."I'm sorry for your loss, Aish, but this is war. Kate is also arrogant, and if we can play on her emotions for Jasper Hale, we might be able to pull it off."

Aish nodded, and swept her hand through the IM. She grabbed a chair and stood on it to retrieve her sword, a three-foot glowing Stygian iron sword. Seaborg trotted in, dressed in a blue chest plate with golden trimmings. Aish, of course, wasn't very into armor, so she just wore what she always wore:a business suit, because Aish Sheva always gets business done. She always did.

-----------Aish Sheva, Chiron, and Dumbledore, Big House, 7:38 pm-------------

"You mean, there might not be an attack at all?"Chiron asked angrily, flicking his tail. He was scowling at Dumbledore, still in his blue robes but had a celestial bronze sword at his side, and Aish Sheva, in her business suit with her sword in hand, sunglasses hiding her hazel eyes and a silver wolf at her side.

"It's possible,"Dumbledore said."You know Kate:she always changes something at the last minute so everything can be perfect."

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME BEFOREHAND?!"Chiron exploded, causing both hunters to flinch and take a step away. If you were facing an angry white stallion, you'd run while you shrieked for your mother, and a centaur would make you pee your pants and run while shrieking for Chuck Norris, your mom, NCIS, the FBI, CIA, and the Care Bears. Only, these two Mary-Sue hunters had faced worse, so all they did was step away from the centaur.

"It just came up,"Aish told Chiron soothingly. It really hadn't, but it was the best Aish could do to calm Chiron down. Seaborg whimpered nervously and hid behind a rocking chair, her bushy silver tail sticking out from behind the chair."We didn't know until the last minute. Call off the preparations,."

"I HAVE A COLD LUNCH NOW THANKS TO YOU!"Chiron screamed, and dashed outside to tell the demigods to stop preparing and go and take some showers. Sweaty demigods smell very bad, you know.

Aish and Dumbledore glanced at each other nervously. The truth was, even they didn't know when the Plots and Kate would attack. However, since Percy Jackson had just been poisoned by a Plot, they walked into a room, where Annabeth Chase was sitting next to the Poseidon demigod, feeding him pudding ambrosia.

"Hello,"Aish said, and Annabeth turned with a start, knocking over her chair, into a lamp, into the wall, into Clarisse, into Beckendorf, into Mr.D, into Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson, into Grover, and yeah, you get the idea.

"James Bond?!"Annabeth stuttered. How Annabeth can think a dark-haired girl with a sword can be James Bond, nobody except Athena knows. Thunder rumbled in the distance, signifying that even the goddess didn't know.

"Aish Sheva and Albus Dumbledore, Mary-Sue hunters. We're here to see Perseus Jackson, who, we assume, has been poisoned by a bunny on two legs, called a Plot."Aish nearly chuckled at the statement, because they sounded so official, like FBI agents. You could mistaken Aish for a 5"5 agent, but Dumbledore.... No, just no."We need to investigate."

"How do I know you won't make him worse?"Annabeth growled, holding up a tiny dagger. Comparing it with a twig, Dumbledore thought, would be blasphemy; the twig would win. By a landslide.

Dumbledore chuckled nervously, and smiled warmly at Annabeth."We're not bunnies on two legs, you see. Aish Sheva and I are here to heal him. Just examine him, and give him the antidote."

Annabeth glared at the wizard angrily, but allowed Aish to open one of Percy's eyelids, point a penlight into it, and jotted something down on his forehead with her pen and backed away. Annabeth was just about to strangle the hunter, but Percy shot up, his eyes wild and screaming something in Japanese.

Percy took a moment to gasp for air, and looked at the three figures standing to his left. One was dressed in blue robes and had a sword at his side. Another looked like the female version of James Bond, only with a Stygian iron sword, a silver wolf instead of a female accomplice, and had dark hair. The last one was a blond-haired girl, who Percy recognized as Annabeth."Annabeth, what happened?"

"You were poisoned by a Plot's plot,"Aish said before anybody could stop her. Percy blinked, confused, but Aish continued:"A Plot is a bunny agent of Kate, a Mary-Sue after your fanfiction section. The Plot had given you something about poisoning and true love, but we got here just in time before you and Annabeth here pulled a Sleeping Beauty on us all."

------------Kate, Plot Castle Throne Room, 9:13 pm-------------

Kate scowled as she watched her two greatest enemies, Aish Sheva and Albus Dumbledore, chat with Percy and Annabeth. Thanks to those accursed pens Dumbledore gave the Mary-Sue hunters, they could heal anybody afflicted with a Plot. Kate mentally noted how she needed to destroy the pens.

"Your Worst Plotness, my lady, we have a problem:another author is joining the ranks of the hunters,"said her right hand servant. He was sweating nervously, tugging on his shirt collar. The baseball cap on his head was sliding off, onto his shoulder."This one is, ah, odd."

"Odd,"Kate mused, and stroked an imaginary beard on her chin."How odd?"

"Odder than how I was born, my lady."The Plot's brown eyes darted around nervously, and he noticed a figure moving in the shadows, but it faded.

"Odd,"Kate muttered, and snapped her fingers. The Terror Trio, numbers 13, 666, and 777 appeared, three six foot high and strong bunnies with red eyes and an insignia on their chestplates:"MARY SUES FOREVER!"

"Find Aish Sheva, Dumbledore, and that figure in the shadows,"Kate ordered. Since she IS a Mary-Sue, she had awesome sight and hearing, so she obviously saw the figure, a feminine one, about five-six."Destroy them."

**A/N:I need more authors to join the League!... YAY CLIFFIES! R&R so you can see what happens next. One or two authors will be introduced each chapter.**


	4. The Other Hunters

PB4

Disclaimer:I don't own PJO or half the characters. All I own is Seaborg the wolf and that shadowy figure(who you'll find out is somebody.....me. Don't ask why I added myself in the story. I was thinking of introducing four more authors, but I was one short of that, so I added myself instead of making one up.)

------------Omegoa, Cuchilla, Delora, and Night, The Quad's Office, 12:00 am-------------

"Hiya!"yelled Omegoa, and nearly smacked Delora in the head with a wooden samurai sword. He was wearing a ninja suit with an eye-patch over one eye, and had a pirate pistol at his side. Obviously, Omegoa was a ninja-pirate, a fuse of a ninja and a pirate. He trained all day in the office as his colleagues, Delora and Cuchilla, typed away on their typewriters, nearly always oblivious to his frequent outbursts of odd ninja language.

"Watch it!"Delora yelled, swatting away the wooden sword with one hand. She was about five feet tall, with hair dyed purple. She was odd, very deranged, and wore a large sombrero on her head. Del was slightly obsessed with Luke Castellan, with her desk littered with photos of him. Instead of getting a wolf(Delora declined the offer), she was paired with Omegoa the ninja-pirate , Cuchilla, her best friend, and Night, the person who absolutely just kept herself shut up on the dark side(not evil, literally dark) of the room.

"You shouldn't be in my way!"Omegoa growled, and poked her on the cheek with the wooden sword. A figure in the dark half of the room stirred from a desk, and stood up, a scowl clearly on her face.

"Stop acting like four year olds,"the girl said, stepping forward from the dark half of the room. Nightmare is her name, and let's just say she just doesn't like her office-mates. She absolutely just blended in with shadows, no matter what she put on. The only way to describe her is very, very pale, very, very cold(personality wise), and extremely into black. Today, she had on a black jacket and jeans and black converses, one of her dark brown eyes twitching angrily, her dark hair let loose over her shoulders."I absolutely can't believe I was put in a room with you three."

"Come on!"Cuchilla chirped, holding up a photo. The four was depicted in the photo, but when Cuchilla and Delora were busy laughing insanely down the hallway, Night had torn out the part of the photo where she was."We're the bestest friends in the whole wide world!"

Night frowned, blinked for a moment, and stepped back into the dark side of the moo- eh, the room. Shunning her office-mates for a moment, she took out a drachma and threw it into the rainbow and mist, which had lingered unnaturally for hours."Dumbledore, Big House."

Dumbledore's image appeared in the mist, and he turned, frowning immensely into the room. This was very common, as the room was either littered with papers, straw, or plastic ninja stars, and today, it was all three."My, have you four ever thought of cleaning the room up?"

"No!"said Cuchilla loudly, tossing her lime green hair, which was weird, because the hair was very short, not long enough to toss. She was only five feet, like Delora, and was just as every bit of deranged."We've been too busy drinking vitamin water and running around cackling like a witch with a sore throat."

Omegoa blinked, and so did Night."Eh,"Night muttered,"how'd the Percy thing go? Did he die or something?"

"No, no, silly goose!"Dumbledore chuckled and popped a lemon drop into his mouth."When Aish and I are out, we always heal victims with pens! Unfortunately, I don't think you four use yours very often...."

"We're never sent out!"Omegoa protested, and nearly tripped over an atom as he walked to the dark side of the room. He grumbled to himself in Japanese before brushing his ninja suit off and said,"You and Aish do everything. When is it going to be our turn?"

"You snooze, you lose,"Aish muttered from somewhere outside of the IM's sight. Dumbledore scowled and turned to the left, shushing her as the four accomplices glanced at each other.

Dumbledore turned back to them, smiling all father-like, but Omegoa, Cuchilla, and Delora(who normally never scowled, but smiled insanely) scowled at the old wizard, but Night only said,"You guys, honestly, are always hyper off of sugar and vitamin water. I went into Kate's castle while you guys were snoozing after the sugar crash."

"Drat,"Delora muttered, snapping her fingers as she swung her arm to the left. "I wanted to put spiders and a love letter from Michael Jackson in her be---"

"Eh, well, to the point. I want the four of you to go to Hogwarts and eliminate the Plots that have just invaded the halls. Cuchilla, take Hufflepuff, Delora with Slytherin, Night with Ravenclaw, Omegoa with Gryffindor. The students are going haywire."Dumbledore grimaced as he thought about the teachers, probably in the Room of Requirement with a couple of the students they'd managed to save from the Plots.

"HERE I COME, YOU GODLY BEASTS!"Delora and Cuchilla shrieked in unison, grabbed their pens and swords, and rushed out, trampling all the other Writers in the hallway. There was a crash and a scream, probably because the two had crashed through the window and were now running on air, all the way to Hogwarts.

Omegoa took a more calm approach. Instead of trampling half the Writers in the building, he calmly took his sword and pen and walked over to the side of the room. The ninja-pirate turned and, with a scream, hopped out of the closed window, glass shattering all over the place.

"Stupid immature and deranged office-mates,"Night grumbled, swiping her hand through the IM. She put the pen in her inner jacket pocket, took her celestial bronze sword from its scabbard, and just strolled outside, and to Hogwarts.

----------Aish Sheva, Dumbledore, and Harry Potter, Half-Blood Hill, 1:34 am-------

"Harry? Harry, wake up."Dumbledore shook the unconscious boy softly, and then suddenly got an idea. Dumbledore was reaching for his shoe to take out his socks, but Harry shot up and yelled,"I'M ALRIGHT!"

"Plot twist,"Aish muttered, and wrote 'Heal' on the bruise in between Harry's eyes(Any injuries made by Plots are healed with the ink from the pen). He winced, but relaxed as the bruise slowly faded into nothing between his eyes.

"Much better,"Harry muttered, rubbing his eyes. His head ached, throbbing like his brain wanted to explode and had an odd urge to go and eat bananas and carrots."D'you have a banana, Dumbledore?"

"What?"

"Bananas. Do you have any?"Harry asked again, this time more urgently. He felt like he'd die without a banana, but Dumbledore shook his head sadly as he rifled through his hat, pulling out an elephant, a Nintendo DS, some clay, Draco Malfoy, et cetera.

Aish frowned, and flipped open her pocket watch. Thanks to Dumbledore, who somehow acquired pocket watches that, when opened, will be like a webcam, the Mary-Sue hunters could contact one another whenever needed. She saw a short girl with green eyes and glasses, talking to a Plot on two legs. Ras, the girl, took one look at Aish and sighed."Yes?"

"Progress, if you will. Be quick about it, I need to check in on EJ and the others."Aish scowled when she thought of her insane co-hunters, who constantly bickered and yelled in odd tones.

"Kate won't attack, like Dumble said. Plotty here tells me she's going to trap Del, Cuch, Night, and Omeg in Hogwarts. Get over there, _now."_

"Roger that."Of course, Aish wasn't talking aboutoik a guy named Roger, but who cares when a fourth of the hunters are going to be (shudder) coverted by _Those Bunnies._ Aish, not caring if Dumbledore or Harry were going, leaped up, and hopped into the hippie-van(for disguise reasons, but the sunglasses and suit gave her away) and stomped on the pedal.

"HEY!"Dumbledore yelled, and ran after her as fast as an old wizard in blue robes could. Harry, being confused and weak, crawled after the two, yelling about bananas.

-------------EJ, EJ and Ras's office, 1:45 am------------

EJ sighed and watched the sun slowly rise. Apollo was being such a slow prick today, so she just sighed, the dark office making her look even paler. Some of her dark hair hid some more of her hair, thanks to the modern-day gel boys seem to love so much, and had rather small black eyes. EJ's preferred weapon was a celestial bronze dagger tucked away in her sleeve, which certain hunters found ironic, as EJ never hid anything from them. She was a double-agent, currently relieved of duty as she needed to write a story, any story.

The pocket-watch with a wolf on it began to shake violently, "Emergency" by Paramore being blasted from the speakers. EJ scowled angrily and flipped it open to see Aish Sheva, one of her fellow hunters, scowling as she glared into the pocket-watch.

"Finally!"Aish growled gruffly. Her hazel eyes looked brown or black-ish in the dark background, which was odd, since Scotland probably was supposed to be sunny or something."Kate's invaded Hogwarts. The sky's darkened, and we need to bust in. Ras is busy serving Kate green tea and discussing the laws of physics, so we can use the time we get to bust in. But we need at least three hunters to do this, so plan to come over here and help?"

"Why? You and the old dude know perfectly well that I have my hands tied up with writing. They tell me I'm going to get kicked out of the building if I don't write."EJ was, of course, lying, but the truth was she didn't want to go. When she was just a young FF writer, she loved the idea of slaying Mary-Sues, but now it seemed dull and bland. It had invaded on some of her writing time, but she had enjoyed the time, until some new writers had come.

"Hey, we're just going to bomb the place, I mean, seriously."Aish gave EJ the kind of look a soon-to-be bomber would give people, a look of scorn, happiness, and anger in one glance."You know our bird bombs work better than the classical ones. Pearl Harbor's were just, eh, how can I put this...just black things with a boom inside?"

EJ had to reconsider. There was the cons, getting kicked out of the building and not being able to write anymore as a Writer. Then, there were the pros:getting to bomb the place Kate had invaded, a place she liked. EJ blinked, and muttered,"Let's go,"before grabbing her dagger, pushing it up her sleeve, and took the same route Cuchilla and Delora used, out of a window.

-----------Ras, Kate's Castle, 2:00 am------------

"Milady, we have run out of green tea leaves,"Ras, a short, curly-haired brunette, told the beautiful Mary-Sue in the chair."Shall I go get some more?"

"Yes, yes,"Kate told her impatiently, sipping her can of Dr. Pepper again. Today, she was in a jogging suit, still looking awesome, intelligent, and humorous all in one. A cup on a china plate was at the small table at her left hand, while a Plot bunny on two legs, wearing a baseball cap stood nervously, tugging on his shirt collar."Go ahead, just come back as soon as possible."

"Yes, Your Worst Plotness,"Ras stuttered, and walked as fast as she could out of the room, the Plot on two legs, whom we shall now call Alberto, looking at Kate as she watched Aish Sheva, Dumbledore, some boy with a ridiculous scar on his forehead, and a pale gothic girl try breaking into Hogwarts using only a paperclip and a pencil. Pathetic, so Kate just chortled and watched Dumbledore summon a carrot, only to get tackled by the boy with the scar.

"Alberto, get me another ,"Kate said, and tossed the can beautifully into a trash can. Alberto the Plot nodded and rushed to the pile of Dr. Pepper boxes.

What Kate didn't know was that her left-hand servant, Ras, lurked in the hallways, into the bathroom, where her information was being entered into a complex system made up of sticks and wood that would automatically send Dumbledore the information...Actually, it was a catapult, and Ras was just writing down the info, slipped it into a plastic Coke bottle, and sent it flying to Hogwarts, where it hit Aish Sheva in the nose.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGRRRRRHHHH!"

**A/N:Like or hate it? Constructive criticism is accepted, and I'll stay keep the ad for more Mary-Sue hunters.**


	5. Hogwarts Part 1

PB 5

Disclaimer:Still don't own PJO.

-----------Aish Sheva, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, EJ, Hogwarts, 3:44 am------------

"I-CAN'T-BUST-IN!"Aish gasped, and stabbed the paper clip into the lock one more time. Stupidly, nobody can think at 4:00 am in the morning, so they only had a paper-clip and pencil to help them with getting into Hogwarts."Stupid lock...."

EJ blinked, and looked at the stupid hippie-van again. Everybody despised it, since it was, well, _hippie_, so all the hunters hated it. Dumbledore insisted it was for 'blending in', but obviously, Dumbledore hadn't gone out of Hogwarts for a loooooonnnnnnnggggg time. Especially since only three out of the about thirty hunters had a license, those three actually dressed oddly, and the 'blending' part faded away like dust on a windy day."Say, Aish, can I borrow the car?"

"Cars won't work,"Aish grumbled, but tossed EJ the keys, hippie keys to be exact. EJ stared at them in disgust for a moment, and got into the car, jamming the keys into the ignition."What the---"

"Out of the way!"EJ yelled gleefully, and slammed on the gas pedal. The car sped forward, making Aish hop out of the way, and hit the doors. They both exploded like bombs were placed on them, the car's front broken. EJ slipped out the car, grinning even though she had a large bruise on her forehead. At this exact moment, as Aish stood and brushed her shirt off, a Coke bottle hurtled out of nowhere, slamming into Aish's nose, causing her to yell:"AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

Utterly stunned and in pain, Aish didn't pick the bottle up, but instead rubbed her bleeding nose. Dumbledore bent over to pick it up, and read it aloud:"Dear (enter stupid names here), I, Ras, have found that Kate has sent over many more Plots to Hogwarts. Beware, and don't go down the yellow brick road!"

"Nellow mick road?"Aish asked. If you have ever gotten your nose broken by some powerful force(not the Force from Star Wars), you'll know that you'll sound like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but a bit more muffled if you cover or rub your nose. Aish, being in a lot of pain right now, was covering her nose, trying not to yell for her mother.

"Yellow brick road,"Dumbledore corrected, adjusting his spectacles."Aish, what has gotten into you? First, you attract bad luck like Bella Swan, and next you mispronounce things like some sort of foreign guy with a thick accent."

"Boken nose,"Aish said, pointing to her nose. She was dabbing it with her sleeve, trying to get the blood away from her nose. She would have said to Dumbledore that they should keep going, but instead three large, overgrown Plots on two legs with beady red eyes and chest plates that read "MARY-SUES FOREVER!" leaped out of the rubble, roaring like a lion instead of an overgrown rabbit.

"ME HUNGRY!"The first one sneered, number 13, a very unlucky number if its a Friday and it happens to be the 13th day of the month. The other two, 666 and 777, joined in, beating their large bunny hands on their chest-plates.

EJ, Harry, Dumbledore, and Aish gulped, all looking up at the large bunnies looming over them like football goal posts. Being only humans, they were only five feet tall. These bunnies were about seven feet, with three swords tied to their backs. Aish, being the most sensible at about 4:00 in the morning, yelled,"RUUUUNNNN!"

"RRRROOOOAAARRR!"666 yelled, but all four hunters had gone past them, into Hogwarts.

-----------Omegoa, Gryffindor Common Room, 4:15 am------------

"Konichiwa?"Omegoa asked, stepping into a dimly lit common room. A group of kids were huddled in a corner, cautiously whispering to themselves."Hello, Gryffindor-ians! I am here to save you."

"Save?"spat one angry Gryffindor boy. He was scowling, and definitely a 7th year. Pointing his wand at Omegoa, he growled,"We've been betrayed too many times to be saved."

Omegoa blinked. Was this turning into some sort of cheesy movie or what? Being the classical ninja-pirate he was, Omegoa drew his celestial bronze ninja sword and said,"You're on."

Unfortunately, Omegoa wasn't ready for the stream of Plots that tackled him out of nowhere. Screams echoed through the Gryffindor dormitories as girls and boys rushed into the dorms, looking for a weapon, anything, like the classical book you can use to beat things to a pulp. The ninja-pirate drew out his celestial-bronze pistol, complete with bullets he used to shoot the white flying bunnies, now newly equipped with wings. "Hiya! Ow!"

Kids began to fire spells at the bunnies, but they bounced off, as they were purely Gary-Stus and Mary-Sues even though they were rabbits....Maybe Bunny-Stus would be a nice name. Anyway, the bunnies were meant for the PJO section, so the HP section had no effect on them whatsoever, leaving Omegoa to slice and shoot with his pistol and sword.

"STOP!"Omegoa shrieked, dodging another Expelliarmus. Of course, Omegoa was only a teen, so none of the students stopped firing. _I wonder how the others are doing_, he thought as he sliced a Plot in half.

At that same moment, EJ rushed in, holding a bronze bow and a quiver full of celestial bronze arrows. Aish, Harry, and Dumbledore had split up, so EJ was left shooting arrows at the Plots as Omegoa slashed and bashed Plots to just origami bunnies, the Plots' original forms. EJ launched seven arrows at a group of Plots that were heading for the dormitories and yelled above the chaos,"Omegoa, look for the Source!"

Omegoa, who had just finished stomping on origami Plot forms, looked up and was pelted with a potions book and a large Plot, not Plots 13, 666, or 777. He stumbled into the wall, trying to remove the Plot stuck to his face. Omegoa unlatched the angry Plot from his face and tossed it at another Plot. He ran up the stairs, dodging flying socks and books and Plots, and sneaked into the boys' dormitory, where Plots flew out of one certain room. Omegoa flung the door open fully, only to see Ron Weasley doing to Cha-Cha-Slide, bunnies flying out of the toy chest in front of him."Aargh, what in Hades is going on?"

"Join me, Omegoa!"Ron yelled. He began to do an odd Bulgarian dance, multiplying the Plot summoning by several times. Omegoa ducked to the floor, dodging flying bunnies with wings."We have cookies and cream!"

"I'm lactose intolerant!"Omegoa lied, refilling his pistol with powder. He raised it, aiming for Ron's heart, and fired. The celestial bronze bullet hurtled past Plots in matrix, going straight through a gap as bunnies flew around. The bullet impacted with Ron's chest, making Ron freeze suddenly."Um, Ron? You alright?"

Ron, instead of answering, screeched these exact words as he began to melt into a puddle of apple cider:"I'M MELLLLLTTTIIINNNNGGG! MELLLTTTTTIIIIINNNNGGG!"

EJ sighed in relief as Plots began to rush back to a room in the boys' dormitory. She heard Omegoa yell "TO SLYTHERIN!" and dashed out the door, brandishing her sword with her.

--------------Delora, Slytherin Common Room, 5:20 am---------------

Delora skipped into the Slytherin Common Room, singing the Annoying Song in a loud voice. Her sombrero tipped to the side, her purple hair a bit messy, but otherwise she was fine. Seriously, meeting Draco Malfoy is like drinking Red Bull: It gives you wings.

"Hello?"Delora called. A few figures stirred in the back of the dark common room. Delora reached over and turned on a lamp, only to see one thing you'd never expect to see:three overgrown bunnies with menacing smiles that towered over her."Um, hello amigos! How are you three doing?"

"Unhhhh,"growled one of the bunnies, 666. Behind him was a girl with red hair with purple streaks going through, a katana halfway across the room.

"Anna?"Delora gasped. She took off her sombrero, holding it like a discus."Be afraid, overgrown bunny-dudes!"

"Uh, Del..."Anna muttered. She raised her hand, barely tall enough to reach 13's neck. There was no way Delora could defeat the Terrible Trio, but she tossed the sombrero anyway. It flew through the air like a flying saucer, spinning around in all its tan glory. The bunnies were somewhat so stunned they didn't move, 777 flying into the wall as the sombrero contacted with its face. Who knew sombreros could be so deadly?

"Bahahahahaha!"Delora laughed, and continued to laugh as if she was having a seizure. Anna sighed, lowering her eyes. _Dumbledore, Spunk Ransom, anybody save me, please._

If you've ever seen a man with blue robes and half-moon spectacles burst into a room holding a carrot nearly twice Delora's size, you'll know how Dumbledore looked when he kicked the door down. His eyes were wide and wild, not like the calm, cool Dumbledore. He swung the carrot at the Plots, yelling,"EAT MY PANTS! ERRE ES KORRAKAS!"

Delora and Anna ducked as the carrot contacted with 666's face. 13 scowled and clapped his hands together, teleporting away even though clapping wasn't necessary. Clapping makes things look cool, alright? Dumbledore giggled and looked at the two girls and then at the fallen Plots."Well?"he asked."How do you both like carr---"

A Plot came flying out of the Slytherin boys' dormitory, sending Dumbledore to the ground. Anna snatched up her katana while Delora grabbed her sombrero and drew her tiny plastic knife(celestial bronze, mind you). Both girls flew, almost literally, up the stairs, dodging Plots (they were pretty short, so the Plots either missed or swerved out of the way).

"FOR DRACO!"Delora shouted, and began to run Plots through with her knife. Plots screamed in bunny(lots of nose twitching). Anna followed right behind, her yellow eyes darting around the room swiftly as they went to the Source of the Plots. Anna busted the door down, and to her great horror Draco Malfoy was dancing. Dancing.... to.... Crank Dat by Soulja Boy.

"Join meeee!"yelled Draco pathetically. Delora was so crazed she might have, but Anna, being a sensible Hogwarts spy, ran him through with her katana. Draco muttered something about Chuck Norris as he turned into a pile of... tiles? Anna did a double-take. Yup, definitely a bunch of red tiles. Anna looked at Delora, who was having shots of vitamin water. Sighing, she grabbed Delora by the neck and dragged her out, then dragged Dumbledore out. The Plots were currently discoing in the Slytherin Common Room in Elvis suits.

**A/N:So maybe the last bit was a tad random... I'll get Cuchilla and Nightmare in the next chapter... And to those who have entered in characters, they will be featured in the next chapter, so watch out for them!**


	6. Deep, Deep, Deep, Deep Trouble

PB6

Disclaimer:Still don't own PJO. Final disclaimer.

--------Nightmare, Ravenclaw Common Room, 5:45 am--------

Night climbed up the stairs to the Ravenclaw Common Room on her hands and knees, tired as somebody who had to run a marathon from Alaska to Japan. Panting, she reached up to the door handle with one hand, only to be stopped by the Raven door handle, which said,"The ruler of the universe knows how to round-house kick. And his name is not Rick. Who am I?"

"Chuck Norris?"Night wheezed, and the door opened. She stood up and shuffled in, only to get trampled by Cho Chang and Harry Potter fans, who ran out, screaming:"CHO CHANG AND HARRY POTTER FOREVER!"

After being stepped on for five minutes flat, Night looked up to see Calais, a goth girl who loved manga and wore cat ears. She grinned down at Night and said,"How you doing? How was the, er, trample?"

Night made a face and stood up, drawing her sword, and followed Calais inside. The Ravenclaw Common Room was dark, but when Night turned on the lights, she could see the Ravenclaw kids huddled in the back of the room, twenty-five or so overgrown Plots(not the Terrible Trio, mind you) growling and hissing at them like tigers.... Then again, Calais thought, they had tiger stripes on their fur. They all turned towards the duo, and to Night and Calais's horror, they were wearing.... Michael Jackson masks.

"Nooooo!"Calais shrieked in horror, and sunk to the ground. Night was going to do the same, had not two people burst into the room:Aish Sheva in all of her female James Bond glory("Hey!"she protested.) and Hikari, her white hair tied back, staff in hand, and pet wolf, Okami growling next to her. Their eyes gleamed as if light were in their eyes, but Aish's eyes were gleaming because she was right now wanting to destroy Plots. Hikari's was because the lighting in the Common Room was really bright.

"Begone!"Aish shouted, or attempted to. Everybody tilted their heads to the side, staring at her, because it sounded more like:"Eon!"

"What do eons have anything to do with this?"Calais inquired. Aish slapped herself, then drew her sword and charged. Night and Calais charged too, while Hikari began shooting light rays at Plots' eyes, blinding them as Night, Calais, and Aish stabbed them.

As Aish was fencing with a Plot holding a broomstick, one crept up behind her, grinning evilly as it drew... a.... picture book! Oh, the horror! Aish finally stabbed the Plot in the eye, but when she turned, the picture book came down on her head, and she crumpled to the floor like... like... well, like something that was hit over the head with a picture book.

Calais ducked under a Plot's jab and stabbed it in the ribcage. It turned into the world's largest origami bunny, but it was ruined when Hikari 'accidently' ("Oops,"she said later on.)lit it on fire with a beam of light. She kicked another Plot in the eye and stabbed it in the heart, hopping back when it tried to grab her foot. It crumpled, and out of the corner of Calais's eye, she saw Aish go down.

Night rushed to Aish's aid, only to be stopped by a phalanx of Plots, five in total, but they made a phalanx at least ten feet wide. She waited for somebody to slip, but they advanced, holding up picture books and swords. Then, when Night was backing up into a wall, Seaborg and Okami(a white wolf that belongs to Hikari) raced in and shot a bunch of huge cheesy romance novels at the Plot phalanx. On contact, they turned into apple cider, which was Kate's second favorite drink. Night rushed to Aish's side as Hikari and Calais raced up the stairs, into a Ravenclaw room.

And who did they find? It was a mystery. He wore a white mask that hid one side of his face, a dress shirt, and a fedora tipped to the front, hiding his eyes. The man had a cloak around his shoulders, and was break-dancing, much to Hikari and Calais's horror. They held up their weapons, about to attack, but the man stopped abruptly and began to sing:"I am not your enemy! I am... Oh, what rhymes with 'enemy'?"

"Death?"Hikari and Calais suggested in unison, and stabbed simultaneously. Both weapons hit the man in the heart, and he exploded into a bunch of tissues, all very fancy and scented in cherry flavor. Calais yelled in joy and snatched a tissue out of the air, sniffing it, but Hikari grabbed her and went back downstairs.

Night was helping Aish up, who looked very disoriented. Her nose had somehow healed, but a bruise had formed on her forehead. They looked at Hikari and Calais(who was still sniffing the tissue)and smiled, but when Aish tried to take a step forward, she somehow tipped to the side. Hikari and Night helped her up and Hikari lent Aish the staff.

"Don't get dirt on it,"Hikari warned,"or you'll never be able to walk again when I'm through with you."

Aish shrugged, and the four walked out. (In Aish's case, she hobbled out.)

----------Cuchilla, Hufflepuff Common Room, 6:17 am---------

Cuchilla skipped into the Hufflepuff Common Room, singing "The Cloud Song" into a wand she'd found on the floor. Her lime-green hair was unkempt, but she didn't bother to comb it. Cuchilla pushed the Hufflepuff doors open, only to see pitch-black darkness and three figures that moved abnormally. She squinted, then called in a high pitched and kindergarten-teacher-ish voice,"Hello? Is anybody there?"

The lights turned on and Cuchilla... squealed in delight. Cedric Diggory was sitting on a recliner, asleep with a Potions book on his lap. She rushed forward, but two large Plots with wings and halos(When did that get there?) grabbed her from behind, snarling."Me hungry,"one said,"but me brother recite poem first, yes yes yes."

The second Plot raised one hand and posed himself as if reciting Shakespeare, then recited in a deep and ancient voice,"Aish Sheva, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Calais, Nightmare, Delora, Omegoa, Hikari, Ras, and Anna fall into a deep, black hole. What will Cuchilla do? R and R please, flames will be used to cook steak."

"Nooooo!"Cuchilla screeched, but there was a tiny click, and the plot was done:the Plot had been recited. Despite her crazy and usually carefree self, she felt terrified, even more so when she heard girls screaming.... All girls, since Dumbledore and Harry scream like girls, but Omegoa doesn't scream. He _screeches _in terror.

Instead of an awesome battle, Cuchilla was being held by two angelic-like Plots. Her friends, er... Scratch that, _fellow Hunters_, were in trouble. Deep, deep trouble, if you'll excuse the terrible pun.

"No fight?"Cedric asked, looking up. His eyes were Voldemort-red, blazing in anger. He smiled and stood up, tossing the book into the fire. It burned like dry wood."Well, we can tell Kate we haven't failed this time. Come, Plots, we must go announce our grand victory!"

Cedric and the Plots threw back their heads and cackled, exposing yellow teeth. Then, Cedric began to cough wildly, choking somehow, and began to stumble around the room.

"Eck, go, eck, to, eck, Kate, eck,"Cedric coughed."Eck, let go, eck eck eck, of Cuchilla."

The overgrown Plots nodded and dropped Cuchilla. She landed in a heap as Cedric clapped his hands, and the three villains were gone.

"Oh, no,"Cuchilla muttered, and raced out the door, cackling maniacally while playing dramatic music on a violin. Because she's just that crazy and felt the need to have something dramatic happening.

-----------The Group(except for Cuchilla), Dining Hall, 6:20 am-------------

"Did you hear something?"Hikari asked suspiciously. Her eyes narrowed, and she looked around, holding up her staff like a bat.

"Nope,"said EJ, who yawned. She patted Okami on the head and scanned the Dining Hall of Hogwarts cautiously."What were we supposed to hear?"

The others, as in Dumbledore, Harry, Anna, Ras(who had appeared here and joined the group), Aish, Nightmare, Delora, and Omegoa nodded in agreement. Everybody was weary from the long trips down, especially Night, who was on all fours, crawling.

"I don't know,"Hikari replied, frowning as she swung her staff around like a crazed monkey armed with a banana. She yawned, feeling a disturbance in the earth. In other words, something didn't feel right...

Dumbledore squinted through his half-moon spectacles in confusion."Wait a moment, young whipper-snappers,"he said."Since when did we have Plots as school insignias?"

All of the Hunters looked up. Indeed, on every House banner, instead of a snake, badger, lion, or raven, there was either a Plot with wings, a Plot with wings AND a halo, a Plot with tiger-stripes, or just an overgrown Plot. They gasped in confusion and terror, but then, out of the blue, a familiar person swooped in, brandishing a large banana. It was....

"Percy!"Ras yelled. Indeed, it was the seventeen year-old Poseidon demigod, holding Anaklusmos like he was born to hold it. His black hair was messy like he'd rolled out of bed to come to Hogwarts. Percy's sea-green eyes were gleaming because of the light from Hikari's staff, but also because he liked bananas. Especially if it had the word "Riptide" on its peel.

"I have come to save you!"he yelled, and held up the banana-sword-Riptide-thing. The Hunters sighed, because the new disease of PJO fanfiction, OOC-ness, was getting to Percy. There was no way in Hades to stop it, except to destroy Kate. But, 'how' is the question, not 'why' or 'when' or 'where' or 'why-did-my-mom-pack-me-a-piece-of-cheese'.

"Percy,"Aish called,"get down from the rafters. You'll fall and break your neck."

Percy threw back his head and laughed, making the Mary-Sue Hunters shuffle nervously on their feet. "I will not fall!"he said."I am a child of the Big Three, the Chosen One, the Edward Cullen of PJO, the---"

He was cut off when an arrow smacked him in the stomach, and with a surprised look on his face, saw it was a peanut-butter jar on a stick. Percy fell back and somehow fell into the Loch Ness Mobster's mouth, and was gone.

The Hunters stared, wide-eyed as they watched Nessie turn and leave. Harry cleared his throat, throwing a banana peel on the floor, and said,"Well, at least we didn't fall into a deep, deep, dark pit that came out of nowhere, eh?"

Everybody nodded in agreement, and took a step forward. They screamed when they realized Harry was wrong;they fell into a deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep dark pit that had somehow appeared in front of them. The Hunters fell into the darkness, screaming in terror. When Night and Aish looked up, they saw Cuchilla, struggling to grab somebody's hand, but they were out of reach.

**A/N:Ooh, cliffie! Well, applications to be in this story are still up. R&R please. Constructive criticism is advised, flames will be accepted(grudgingly).**


	7. The Hunters vs Kate

PB 7

Disclaimer:Still don't own PJO.

--------The Hunters(minus Cuchilla), Deep Dark Pit, 6:30 am---------

The Mary-Sue Hunters felt the wind in their faces as they fell into the black hole, thinking there was no end. Aish was struggling to gain hold of the sides of the hole, being very sensible and inteliigent, but no, her hands felt smooth rock. There would be virtually nothing to hold onto, so Aish clawed at the walls in a mad attempt to get up.

"No use,"Omegoa sighed, disheartened by Aish's attempts. His pistol was empty, and now his sword was in two, like everybody else's, except for Hikari's staff. The fall had somehow broken all of their weapons, so there would only be hand-to-hand combat. No swords. No shields. Just fists and feet."We're gone for."

With several _thuds_ and 'Oofs', the Hunters hit a cold, hard floor. The Hunters sat there, disoriented and confused.

"We're in a prison cell?"Dumbledore muttered, adjusting his lopsided spectacles.

"Of course, dimwits,"said a very beautiful, sultry voice. Kate stepped forward, wearing ratty jeans and a wrinkled t-shirt, but she made it look like it was all-the-rage and beautiful."You wouldn't expect less from me. I could've made you land in Candy Mountain, but noooo, my advisor told me to send you _here_."

Nightmare got up shakily and growled,"What the heck are you planning on?"

Kate replied snidely,"Invading the PJO fanfiction section, of course. Harry Potter fanfiction is now mine, as Cuchilla is the only Hunter remaining in Hogwarts. Ta-ta for now!"

Kate batted her eyelashes flirtatiously and was gone in a shower of sparkles. Aish yelled in anger and kicked the wall, her foot contacting with the stone.

"Cuchilla,"Delora said. Since this scene was very dramatic and sad, she was completely OOC, as was all of the other Hunters(minus Cuchilla) were. They were in Kate's mercy now. Depressingly.

What the Hunters didn't know was that two of them had managed to remain in Hogwarts.

-----------Cuchilla, Dining Hall, 6:32 am-------------------

"Oh, no,"Cuchilla muttered, and leaped up. She knew Aish was the smart one, that Omegoa, Dumbledore, Delora, and Nightmare were the strong ones. That Calais was the sneaky one. That Hikari was the 'flashy'(as in, the staff of light way). She'd have to fill _all _of their positions in this one. Cuchilla stared at the ground as the hole sealed itself, becoming a mere scar in the floor.

Cuchilla flinched and looked up as she looked at a silver wolf, Seaborg, and Okami, a white one, staring mournfully at the black scar marring the floor. Cuchilla thought she was imagining it, but the wolves' forms both flickered briefly.

"What do we do?"Cuchilla asked herself."What do _I_ do?!"

"Fill us in,"answered a grave voice, and the wolves and Cuchilla turned. The demigods of Camp Half-Blood, led by Chiron, were armed and bloodthirsty.

---------Twenty minutes later----------

"Percy fell into monster mouth?"asked Tyson quizically. Cuchilla nodded, and Tyson began to generate Niagara Falls from his one eye.

"This is very bad,"Chiron muttered. He shuffled nervously on his horse hooves, frowning. Chiron's bow was slung over his shoulder, his quiver on his back."All of the Hunters except for you are gone? This is nearly a suicide mission!"

Cuchilla flashed him an insane smile and drank a shot of vitamin water."Well, at least we're not bombing Kate's castle, eh, Chir-y?"

Chiron stared at her for a minute and his face darkened."Er... no... Well, maybe..."

Cuchilla's cup fell to the floor as she hopped up like a mad kangaroo and yelled,"WHAT!"

"We have the Hephaestus demigods wiring up bombs to the castle,"Chiron said gravely. He shook his head when an Athena camper asked him if they could take Peleus from guarding Thalia's tree and attack the castle."My dear, Cuchilla, we must be wise about this. We cannot let Kate send out her Plots. This is Camp Half-Blood's final stand. We must defend the PJO Fanfiction Section from being conquered by Kate's forces. She has already taken over the 39 Clues section and has stormed Camp Half-Blood. Luckily, we got out an hour before they arrived."

Cuchilla scowled, but took another sip of vitamin water and began hopping up and down the Dining Hall of Hogwarts.

------------------Kate, Kate's Throne Room, 7:00 am-----------------

Kate examined her perfectly painted nails as her Plot spy was telling her the ongoings of the Eragon section.

"Eragon himself has sworn fealty to us, yadda yadda yadda, but we still need more forces,"said the spy. To Kate, it sounded like:"Blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, Eragon, blah blah blah, fealty."

"Uh-huh,"Kate murmured, and began to examine her reflection in the mirror. The Rider-demigod-wizard-vampire frowned at her reflection, and using her keen sight, looked into her own eyes. They looked weary, battered, but still shined with that mesmerizing light."Noooo!"Kate shrieked."I look TIRED! Mary-Sues are never tired!"

Kate's right-hand servant, Alberto the Plot on two legs, sighed in exasperation."Your Worst Plotness, ma'am, Lady, Queen, Princess, you must sleep for once. It retains the beauty. Your one-thousandth mother, Aphrodite, sleeps nearly half a day, and that is why she retains her immense beauty. I'll get you a pillow, so you can sleep on your----"

"NO!"Kate roared, and to just annoy her, the authoress will call her _Caitlyn._ She zapped Alberto with a 'Brisingr', and her right-hand servant turned into ashes. She stood, the light in the room dimming and thunder and lightning striking the floor behind her for dramatic effect, growled,"I will not rest until the PJO section is TAKEN DOWN, SYLLABLE BY SYLLABLE!"

Her _new_ right-hand servant, Lisa(who ran off from Edward by burning his piano), gulped and took a step back. Lisa's eyes were wide and wild, especially when she saw how fiercely the light burned in _Caitlyn's_ eyes. Her clothes were ripped and torn, but luckily, they still held strong as if they never were torn in the first place."Your Worst Plotness,"she stammered,"Alberto is right, no matter how much of a dimwit he can be."

"We stormed an empty camp!"_Caitlyn_ roared, and began to pace the room. Fires lit where her feet used to be, making half the room smolder. Smoke rose to the ceiling for added dramatic effect as _Caitlyn_ fumed, literally. Smoke tendrils rose off of her hands, and she shot a fire spell at a picture of her predecessor, her father, Kevin, AKA the most powerful Gary-Stu in the history of Fanfiction. The spell bounced off and hit a Plot, who screamed and hopped into the Loch Ness Monster's mouth, who just so happened to be there at the moment."Now we will storm Hogwarts! Show no mercy for the stupid demigods!"

Lisa nodded."And what of the Mary-Sue Hunters?"

_Caitlyn_ smiled devilishly. It was chilling, as the authoress cannot describe it accurately without throwing out paper after paper, wasting trees just to write a description for a smile. It was a mix between a scowl, smile... No, the authoress cannot describe it."As soon as we destroy those accursed Hunters, and that means _all_ of them, I will destroy the authoress for calling me _CAITLYN_!"

Lisa bowed and ran off to the Terrible Trio, who were nursing various wounds delivered by Delora's sombrero. The Authoress gulped and ran for her tiny mortal life.

----------The Hunters(minus Cuchilla), _Caitlyn's_ Prison, 7:10 am----------

The Hunters were in disarray and panic.

Aish had lost her calm and was running around the cell, pounding on the walls with Hikari's broken staff.

Dumbledore wanted his sky-blue 'Blankie' and his mother.

Harry was being his regular self, angsting in a corner.

Hikari was mourning the fact that there was next to no lighting in the cell.

Calais mourns the fact that she only brought one manga to read.

Nightmare is panicking silently.

Delora was hidden under her large sombrero, asleep from her sugar crash.

Anna felt bored, so she repeatedly slammed her head into the wall.

Ras is playing with her broken bow and arrows.

Omegoa was trying desperately to fix the weapons.

"Ermgmmph,"something grunted. Everybody looked up, only to see a Plot holding a ring of keys for various things. It had black fur and tired-looking as it unlocked the doors, but shackles and handcuffs appeared on the Hunters' wrists and ankles."Out with you, er, things. _Caitlyn's_ orders."

The Plot snatched up the chain and led the Hunters to the Throne Room, where _Caitlyn_ was waiting. She was making executioner uniforms look beautiful and handsome, especially because the mesmerizing light in her eyes were like the sun at its highest... That seriously sounded like a cheesy romance poem.

"Welcome, welcome,"_Caitlyn_ said in her sultry voice. She was holding an axe, much like an executioner's, and wore all black, down to her eyes, which were now black."First, I will execute you, and then that annoying Authoress who keeps calling me, ugh, _Caitlyn_."

The Authoress gulped and cowered behind her couch.

Omegoa scowled and yelled,"Traitor! Coward, why don't you let us go so we can fight?"

Bad move, Omegoa. _Caitlyn_ shrugged, and her clothes melted away so that she wore battle armor so that she looked like a female armor model. She held a sword and her axe, both large and intimidating."I don't see any harm in that. 813348, let them go."

Obediantly, the Plot casted a spell, and the chains disappeared. The Hunters' were armed with their weapons, all repaired, and wore battle armor like Kat-- excuse the Authoress, _Caitlyn's_.

"Bring it!"_Caitlyn_ yelled, and the Hunters charged like Ares campers, howling in fury and amusement.

_Caitlyn_ dodged as Aish swung her sword, and punched her in the stomach. She grabbed the Hunter's arm and flung her across the room, where she broke off the top of the throne and hit the wall.

Dumbledore casted an Expelliarmus and charged, but _Caitlyn_ dodged and, using her shiny teeth, the Expelliarmus spell rebounded and hit Ras and Omegoa, who were loading their weapons. The two were flung into the wall, where they lay broken and unconscious as _Caitlyn_ punched Dumbledore in the stomach and, grabbing his robes, flung him into the wall.

Harry grabbed a banana that was conveniently there and charged, yelling:"DIE, NASTY MARY-SUE!"

Harry slipped and fell, his glasses shattering.

Calais and Hikari sneaked up behind _Caitlyn_ and stabbed in unison, but the Rider-wizard-demigod-vampire grabbed the staff and sword. She sneered and flung them both into the ceiling, where they hit the stone and landed on the floor with a harsh and sickening _thud._

Nightmare and Delora both flung their weapons, AKA a sword and sombrero, but _Caitlyn_ swung her axe, both weapons sliced in half like tender beef. She ran up to the duo with her vampire-speed and punched them. Night and Delora were flung back, into the wall, which broke, and they landed on rubble. Anna tried to fling her sword at _Caitlyn_(final time Authoress calls Kate this), but Kate dodged and flicked her hand, sending Anna flying into a phalanx of Plots. They were bowled over by the force of Anna slamming into them, hitting the floor like a ton of bricks.

"You see why I am a Mary-Sue?"Kate yelled, swinging her axe in emphasis. She smiled the smile that nobody can describe and walked towards Dumbledore, holding up her sword."I am invincible! Not even Humbledore or Ash Chevy can defeat me!"

Gasping, Kate stared down at her stomach as a fountain pen stabbed her. "It's Sheva,"Aish growled."Aish Sheva."

The Mary-Sue crumpled, and faded into a piece of paper, which Aish tore up."No more Mary-Sues,"Aish sighed."Good riddance."

The Plots, little did Aish know, had another leader. One that has been hiding behind Curtain Number Three the whole time.

**A/N:I really couldn't resist Aish's line this time... XD …. R&R please, applications to be a Writer in this story are still open.**


	8. Cake

PB8

Disclaimer:Never going to own PJO.

----------The Hunters(minus Cuchilla), Kate's Throne Room, 7:35 am---------

Aish was forced to pick up her half-conscious fellow Hunters and piled them in the middle of the room. If you know limp bodies were at least twice as heavy as they normally would be, you'll know that Aish's arms were aching when she finally dragged Dumbledore to the group. Now semi-conscious, Omegoa groggily got up and teetered over to Kate's supply of Dr. Pepper. The Plots had fled and were plotting(haha) an attack behind the Hunters' backs, but right now, all that mattered was rest, sugar, food, drink, sugar, bananas, sugar, vitamin water, and did the Authoress mention sugar?

"Mm,"Omegoa groaned, popping open a can of Dr. Pepper. His arm ached, since Ras landed on it, and his head throbbed like mad. Cradling the aluminum can in his arms, Omegoa sipped the soda, and dropped the can on the floor, brown-black liquid spilling everywhere. He sat down, holding his head."My... ugh... head... Stupid... Plots..."

Ras was having just as much luck. Her head also hurt from the fall, so she lay in an odd position on the floor, her eyes half-open. One arm was clutching her bow, the other her quiver. Aish tapped her between the eyes, but Ras swatted her hand away despite being semi-conscious.

Dumbledore was unconscious. His eyes were closed, and he was muttering about Arianna and somebody named "Henry Lotter".

Nightmare was sprawled on the floor, in too much pain to even move. Her sword lay several feet away from her hand, but Night was too tired to even crawl to the sword, not to mention the fact that her legs hurt from the long trek down the Ravenclaw House.

Harry's glasses were broken beyond measure. The Chosen One cradled the frames in his arms, crying silently over the lost frames, even though they could be easily fixed with a 'Reparo'. Sadly, Harry was too angsty to do that.

Calais was readjusting her cat ears and checked to make sure her manga was torn or ripped. If it was, she'd be able to storm Russia and take over with only a paperclip and a pencil...

Hikari was duct-taping her staff back together, ignoring the pain in her back. She winced and muttered,"Ow, ow ow..."

Anna lay on the floor, unconscious.

Delora was giggling insanely, drinking shots of vitamin water from those tiny wine glasses called shots. Her arm and back hurt, but she was fine. As along as she had vitamin water.

Aish looked over her semi-conscious/unconscious fellow Hunters, dismayed by the fact that they were badly beaten up. Her back hurt like she had arthritis, but she didn't let it show. Straightening her back, Aish mustered the loudest voice she could and said,"Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

All of the Hunters' eyes snapped open wide and glared at her as if she had just lost the winning lottery ticket. Nightmare stood up shakily, scowling, and said,"Bad? Was it _bad?_ OF COURSE IT WAS BAD!"

Aish flinched and stumbled back, supporting herself with Percy's giant banana. Rubbing her back, she muttered,"Still, we beat her."

The rest of the Hunters had to agree.

Dumbledore sat up and waved his wand. Omegoa's mess disappeared. Dumbledore got up and raised his wand, the door shutting abruptly and suddenly. Rubbing his eyes, the wizard grumbled,"We did, we did. Now, where did I put those lemon drops?"

Aish held up Dumbledore's unwashed pants with her sword, the lemon drop bag falling out of the back pocket.

Dumbledore yelled "MINE!" and dove for it, forgetting that the Hunters hated lemon drops. He snatched it up and clutched it at his chest, pointing his wand at the now-standing Hunters(minus Cuchilla)."Mine, mine, mine! My preccciioooouusssss!"

The Hunters, minus Cuchilla, backed up.

-----------Cuchilla, Hogwarts Dining Hall, 7:30 am-------------

When Cuchilla finally stopped bouncing up and down the Dining Hall, Annabeth, Percy, Clarisse, Jake Mason, Katie Gardner, Thalia(and the Hunters, NOT THE MARY-SUE HUNTERS), and Nico di Angelo gathered around the Ravenclaw House table(AKA the House with the Plot with tiger-stripes) and put their thinking caps on.

Literally.

The counselors and important characters of PJO(and Cuchilla) wore those hats gangsters wore, tilted to the side of their heads. You'd think they'd also put on bling and start break-dancing in the Dining Hall, but sadly, they didn't. The counselors were too busy thinking of a plan to storm and destroy Kate's castle when Will Solace and the Stoll brothers crept up behind them, and while the people were in deep thought, yelled "BOO!"

Clarisse stabbed them with a knife, her eyes still on the table.

"I GOT IT!"Thalia yelled and held up a paperclip. Cuchilla gasped as she watched OOC-ness, also known as a shadow, creep towards Clarisse. Suddenly, the tough daughter of Ares was polishing her nails, _pretty_, and was wearing a skirt. Clarisse skipped away, singing "Barbie Girl."

The other campers stared on in horror.

"OOC-ness?"Cuchilla muttered, stroking the imaginary beard that would never appear and solidify."How did it spread so fast? I thought Nessie ate Percy?"

Percy shuddered.

Nearby, Nessie burped.

Cuchilla stared, and an idea flashed in her head. A floating lit lightbulb appeared, suspended above her head as Cuchilla stuck her finger in the air and declared,"I have a plan that does not include paperclips!"

The other campers that were gathered around the table looked up curiously.

"Well, I have come up with an ingenious plan worthy of Athena!"Cuchilla said, and began rambling off about Nazi airplanes and stuff like that.

A lightbulb appeared above Annabeth's head."I got it! We can send in _ninja campers_ to sneak into the castle, destroy the guards, and then we'll storm the castle!"

The campers clapped enthusiastically, and nearby a seal slapped its flippers together, barking... Seaborg and Okami glanced at each other, then slipped away unnoticed by the clapping campers. The newly OOC Clarisse skipped around, singing.

Cuchilla smiled faintly as she thought of Delora, Aish, Nightmare, and all the others.... Sighing, she sipped her vitamin water and returned to bouncing up and down the Dining Hall.

--------Seaborg and Okami, Kate's Castle Mote, 7:47 am----------

The silver wolf, Seaborg, glanced up at the dark and evil-looking castle. Her nose tingled with the scent of the Hunters, twitching like a bunny rabbit's... Aargh.... She growled and approached the guards, who were playing Go-Fish.

Seaborg snatched one of the large Plots up by the neck and threw him into the mote. The other one grabbed his spear, but the wolf snapped it in half and the Plot, squeaking, ran as he cried for his mother.

"Let's go,"Seaborg growled in a gruff voice. Apparently, if you happen to own a wolf and it was bred by somebody with the middle name of "Hunter", then it could talk. Okami nodded and followed the she-wolf into the castle, careful to hide behind pillars of stone when a patrol guard walked by.

"I smell Hikari,"Okami informed her, and sniffed the air again."And bacon. Lots and lots of BACCCOOONN!"

The bacon-addicted wolf raced off in the direction of the scent of bacon. Seaborg, sensible like her master, Aish, sighed and followed, rushing past several Plots. They roared and followed, but with Okami swerving around in different corners, they were quickly lost. Seaborg swiftly hid behind a pillar as a large group of shadows appeared. She listened in, using her hearing the best she could...

"... defeated Kate. I never knew that was possible."A woman's voice, sultry and angry at the same time. Seaborg could see that she was clearly beautiful, with blond hair and amazing golden eyes. A _new _Mary-Sue?"

The woman looked at the pillar Seaborg was hiding behind and said,"Aw, a cute wolf pup."

Seaborg scowled, but the woman's Rider powers lured her out. A metal cage dropped out of nowhere and over Seaborg."Sugar!"Seaborg yelled, despite the fact that there was nothing that had to do with sugar around."SUGGGAAARRR!"

Okami's ears perked up as he heard 'Sugar', the code for 'RUUUUNNN'. The white wolf ran harder, and he burst into the Throne Room.

The Hunters looked up, startled. Harry dropped his glasses again, now beyond repair thanks to the floor. They all pointed their weapons at Okami until Hikari said,"OKAMI! WHERE WERE YOU?!"

The white wolf made a gesture of eating a pizza. Omegoa frowned, dropping his Dr. Pepper again.

"Dining Hall?"Aish guessed, and Okami nodded. Raising Percy's banana, Aish declared,"Let them eat cake!"

"That's my line!"Marie Antoinette whined, flipping her white wig. It landed on Okami's head.

Aish rolled her eyes and glared at Dumbledore and Delora. "Get rid of her? Please?"

Nightmare threw a cake at Marie's face as Aish continued:"OOC-ness is spreading, but we don't know why, and the fabric of time is ripping, which is why Antoinette is here."

Marie wailed "CAKE!" before falling into a time rip, and out came Napoleon Bonaparte in all of his short glory. He raised his sword, his horse rearing back, and yelled,"I AM RULER OF NARNIA! FEAR ME!"

Delora's sombrero hit him in the face, and both he and the horse fell into a pit-that-just-so-happened-to-be-there. The sombrero bounced off the wall and back into Delora's hand, who smiled and held up an Orbit gum pack."Orbit. Guaranteed to make your teeth pearly white."

The other Hunters threw their Orbit gum into the time rips.

"Now,"Aish continued uncertainly,"OOC-ness is spreading to our ranks. We must prepare by break-dancing."

"No,"Ras protested,"we need to do the Chicken Noodle Soup!"

Anna replied,"No, we need to eat cake!"

"CAAAKKKEEE!"Marie Antoinette wailed.

Harry rubbed his chin."No. We must..."

All of the Hunters stood and simultaneously yelled "WE MUST DANCE TO 'WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER'!"

The High School Musical cast hopped out of nowhere and began to dance along with the Hunters, scarily enough. As soon as the Hunters and HSM cast were finished, the HSM cast was pushed into a black hole and never seen again.

"Noooo!"Calais wailed, dropping to her knees. She began to shake her fists at the heavens, sobbing."Why not 'Kiss Me Thru the Phone'? Why not a Japanese hip-hop song? WHYYY?!"

"We're too cool for that,"Hikari replied snidely, holding her staff like a cane.

George Washington and his horse appeared, then disappeared when Nessie ate them.

"The time rips are strong,"noted a sultry, feminine voice. The Hunters turned, holding their weapons like clubs, and could see...

"My name is Kelly the Mary-Sue the XIII,"Kelly replied, flipping her blond hair. She grinned, and held up her sword, three times Dumbledore's size, and the Hunters' weapons turned to dust.

"Dear Lord,"Aish muttered,"I forgot to turn off my stove!"

**A/N:Poor Aish... Even though this was a tad random, R&R please. **


	9. The End

PB 9

Disclaimer:Don't own PJO.

----------The Hunters(minus Cuchilla), Kate's Throne Room, 7:35 am---------

Okami's ears perked up when he heard 'stove'. It meant in Hunter language that somebody was coming, but who?

That question was quickly answered. A golden-haired boy with a farmer's tan and a pocketknife in hand burst through the doors behind the Hunters. His face was showered with light freckles, but his battle-worn brown eyes showed leadership skills despite being the ripe age of thirteen years old."Hey, that throne looks snazzy!"

The Hunters made a face. It was Cade, the boy who always, and yes, that means every time, points out the random.... Anyway, the Hunters drew their back-up weapons, scimitars that dripped with black Mary-Sue blood. They smelled like cookies, random and odd as it may sound.

"Oh?"Kelly raised an eyebrow gracefully. The male Hunters would've been infatuated, had not the female Hunters shielded their eyes."You wish for a fight? You'll get one, alright, but I won't go easy on you like Kate did, no siree Bob..."

Kelly drew a sword three times Aish's size. It was blue, dripping with scarlet red Hunter blood. Around the hilt was a string of fountain pens, pens taken from defeated Hunters. With a start and small choking sound, Aish realized the Gray Soul's pen was on their: Kelly had killed him.

"Bring it, Mary-Sue!"Cade yelled, and his pocketknife turned into a large sword called "Dawn Treader". He held it up and yelled,"YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN TO TARTARUS!"

The Hunters yelled in agreement and raised their swords when....

"Did ya miss me?"Cuchilla yelled at them as the doors behind Kelly were thrown open. Kelly, luckily, had run to the middle of the room, ten feet away from the Hunters. Cuchilla had her sworn drawn and she wore a baseball cap tilted to the side, 'gangsta style'. She smiled and gestured behind her. The demigods of Camp Half-Blood stood behind her, toting large weapons and the occasional piece of deadly pie.

"CUCHILLA!"the Hunters cried, but then Kelly waved her hand.

Large Plots appeared in front of Cuchilla and the demigods, snarling as they held up picture books, clubs, Greek fire, and the occasional crayon. Very large, red crayons used for coloring books. They roared simultaneously, making it sound like an angry pack of wolves than bunny rabbits.

"My Plots,"Kelly said,"you have served me well! Show me that you are truly loyal to me by destroying the demigods! I will take out the Hunters myself. EJ?"

"What?"Delora asked, confused.

Kelly gestured upwards. EJ had suction-cups attached to her forearms and legs. She was aiming an arrow at Dumbledore, her eyes wide, black, and indeed blank. EJ was only five feet away from the ceiling, her legs attached to the wall, but she could turn enough to aim an arrow at Dumbledore's head. Brainwashed.

"You fiend!"Omegoa yelled, and aimed his pistol at the Mary-Sue."EJ would never do this to us!"

Kelly made a tsk-tsking sound, waving her finger for emphasis."Brainwashed EJ indeed would. It was simple, in fact. All I needed to do was make you not notice her being gone, and then I used the power of shiny objects to hypnotize her into doing my bidding. Only _I_ know the words that will make her un-brainwashed. EJ?"

EJ nodded slowly, and let the arrow go. It made a straight line to Dumbledore's forehead, who was reading the ingredients list on the lemon drop bag.

"DUMBLEDORE!"Ras screeched, and tackled him before the arrow hit its mark. Both Hunters hit the ground, Dumbledore's head hitting the waxy and shiny floor. He was knocked out immediately.

Kelly's upper lip curled."Well, then, why don't we settle this the old-fashioned way? Hm? Sword on sword?"

The Hunters raised their swords nervously, but EJ fired three arrows. They dodged, but one managed to hit Nightmare in the leg, and she, ultimately, went down.

Kelly dealt the first blow. She jabbed at Aish's legs, but she danced out of the way when Aish jumped and tried to stab her in the neck. Kelly swiftly grabbed Aish's leg and threw her into the wall as the Plots and demigods went to battle, pieces of deadly pie and arrows flying.

Cade and Calais sneaked up behind Kelly, but Calais accidentally stepped on an arrow with a small _snap_. Kelly swung around, her sword hanging into a hammer, and slammed the hammer into Cade's side. He slammed into Calais,who was thrown into the wall only five feet away from Aish's unconscious body.

Dumbledore raised his wand and yelled "Expelliarmus!" The red burst of light hit Kelly in the back, but she turned, her eyes murderous, unharmed. She raised her hammer over her head and.... smashed Dumbledore's bag of lemon drops.

"Nooooo!"Dumbledore shouted, and dropped to his knees dramatically as he shook his fists at the heavens and above that, the atmosphere."Why? They were so young!"

Harry and Anna fired arrows and spells, but they only bounced off of Kelly or were thrown off course by EJ's arrows. Kelly lazily slapped the arrows that managed to escape EJ's and the spells bounced off her skin, unable to hurt her. Kelly's hammer turned into a crossbow, and she made the perfect calculations to aiming and hitting Harry and Anna, and fired. The arrows didn't hit, but they DID produce enough force to knock them both over. Kelly hopped right over them and ran towards Hikari, Omegoa, and Nightmare, who were trying to get to Cuchilla.

"Aloha!"Kelly shouted, and took aim, and fired. The boxing gloves that-had-just-so-happened-to-be-on-the-arrows hit Hikari and Omegoa, knocking them over. Stunned, Night looked up, the arrow that had hit her in the leg out. Around the wound, her pant leg was stained with blood, but it healed as she munched on the ambrosia. Kelly fired again, and this time, the blow caused Night to fly into the wall.

"EJ!"Aish shouted weakly."We're your friends, not enemies. Remember? Remember the time when we destroyed those Plots and saved the Gray Soul before he got hit by one of the Gary-Stu's arrows?"

EJ frowned, blinking as she lowered the bow. Confused, she said in a dull voice,"I don't remember who the Gray Soul is, what a Gary-Stu is, and who you are."

Delora shouted from somewhere in the mix of Plots and demigods,"THE GRAY SOUL, REMEMBER? YOUR COUSIN, BRIAN?"

"Brian,"EJ mused."Brian who?"

"Attack, you fool!"Kelly shouted as she picked up Dumbledore with her pinky finger."I order you to attack!"

EJ raised her bow again, but then Cuchilla yelled over the chaos and battle cries,"We aren't the enemies! We're the Hunters, your friends!"

"Family!"Hikari added, rubbing her head sorely. She was seeing stars, swaying to the side as she struggled to stumble over to Kelly.

"Family."EJ's blank eyes became distant, confused.

"Yes, family!"Cade told her."Remember? Aish was like the mom, Dumbledore like the creepy old grandfather, Night, Cuchilla, Hikari, Delora, Calais, and you, EJ, sisters! Me, Omegoa, and Harry the brothers! Family!"

"ATTACK AND DON'T TAKE PRISONERS!"Kelly roared. 'Family' was such a strong word that even Kelly knew that it could break the hypnotic trance."ATTACK, I COMMAND YOU, EJ!"

EJ's eyes returned to planet Earth, and, scowling, the familiar blaze of light reappeared. She turned to Kelly, her upper lip curling."I don't take orders from you."

Kelly howled in anger and used her vampire-speed to climb up the wall. She grabbed EJ's leg and threw her to the floor, at least a two story fall. She smiled the smile the Authoress couldn't describe, her eyes glinting in the bright lights."Goodbye, EJ."

Cuchilla stabbed a Plot in the chest and rushed to EJ's aid as she plummeted back to Earth. There was no way she'd survive if she hit the floor. Her fate was sealed.

But not quite.

Dumbledore and Aish rose, their eyes determined to save EJ before she died. Aish grabbed the cushions from the 'Snazzy Throne' and tossed them to Dumbledore, who caught them with a simple spell, suspending the cushions in the air. He waved his wand, and they flew towards the place where he thought EJ would land. Aish, Dumbledore, Cuchilla, and Delora locked eyes and knew they'd have to do better than that.

"The sombrero!"Aish shouted to Delora."Throw it!"

"Oh no you don't!"Kelly screamed.

Delora whipped the large sombrero off her head and threw it, the large hat flying in the air like a UFO. Kelly made some calculations in her head and fired an arrow at the hat.

Aish threw her sword.

Dumbledore threw a lemon drop.

The lemon drop, sword, and arrow collided, the sombrero flying through the collision course just in time. It began to slowly lose altitude, and landed smoothly on the cushions just as EJ landed.

_Crack._

EJ winced and clutched her leg, groaning in pain."Ow... My leg..."

Aish's eye twitched, but she turned... to see Kelly standing next to her. She grinned and punched Aish in the nose, breaking it and sending the Hunter across the room.

"Oh no she di'in't!"Cuchilla growled, and lifted her sword and a bottle of vitamin water. She hurled the bottle, not the sword, across the room just as Kelly turned. Her eyes widened as the bottle hit her face, and she stumbled back a step or two, her nose bleeding heavily with black Mary-Sue blood.

"Stubid Hunter,"Kelly growled, but with a slight poke on the nose, it was healed. She smiled, showing off her pearly white teeth and perfect dimples, and wiped the blood off her face.

Nightmare crawled towards Kelly, her sword in one hand, her pen in the other.

The demigods hacked and slashed, beating down Plots left to right. The Plots were roaring and slamming demigods into the wall, but the demigods kept coming, determined to keep the PJO Fanfiction section out of Mary-Sue hands. Even if they were one hundred percent clean and shiny.

Okami and Seaborg leaped at Kelly, teeth bared and eyes hateful.

Then, out of the blue, Marie Antoinette hurled a piece of cake at Kelly, who was busy examining her nails as she pummeled Clarisse up like a punching bag with one hand. The cake hit its mark, and Kelly stumbled back."MY EYES!"

"Don't mess with cake,"Marie said before being sucked back into a time rip.

Aish, Nightmare, Okami, and Seaborg lunged.

Kelly wiped the cake off her face and looked down. Two fountain pens had sprouted out of her stomach, two wolves were gnawing on her arm, and then something clubbed her over the head. A spell hit her, and she flew into the wall.

Demigods cheered as the Plots froze, then turned into mere dust and pieces of paper. They stomped on the paper and began dancing on the Plots' graves, which would've made them angry, but they were now all gone. Their creator was dead.

Kelly's body turned into a piece of paper, which Seaborg took up in between her jaws and tore to confetti and all that nice stuff. Aish, tired, smiled and patted the she-wolf on the head and scratched her behind the ears.

"They were so young!"Dumbledore wailed, but Hikari tapped him lightly on the shoulder with her staff.

"We won."

"Won what? The lottery?"

Hikari glanced at Aish, who shrugged."Um, yes,"she said."The lottery....."

Dumbledore looked sadly at his destroyed lemon drops, but took a deep breath and stood."Well, I can always buy more lemon drops at CVS."

"That's the spirit!"Delora and Cuchilla said in unison, giggling as they took another shot of vitamin water.

The Hunters smiled, and for once, it was peaceful. Of course, they payed no attention as they averted their eyes to the ground when Michael Jackson and the 'Thriller' cast came in and danced, nor when Marie Antoinette and the rest of the French subjects were gathered around a table filled with cake and pie and all that yummy pastry.

"Well,"Cade said, sheathing his sword/pocketknife,"some Mary-Sues are gone. We saved PJO Fanfiction."

"Yeah,"agreed the other Hunters, nodding slightly. The only Hunter who didn't respond was Aish, who was scanning the room. Several injured demigods hobbled around the room, handing out ambrosia and nectar and all that other nice godly food.

Aish finally looked up at her fellow Hunters and grinned slightly."True, very true."

Harry began to twist and turn his glasses until, oddly, they were good as new. Hey, at least his angst didn't lead to collecting buttons or anything.

Somebody clapped slowly, and everybody looked up to the balcony that-just-so-happened-to-be-there-at-that-exact-moment. A man in a silly looking suit with a crooked mustache but very cool violet eyes stood there, clapping slowly.

"How nice of you to visit,"he said in a heavily accented French voice."You have successfully defeated two Mary-Sues in a matter of hours. For that, I will give you..."

The man took out a pen from his breast pocket."A new deluxe Hunter pen! Complete with Ipod, Wi-Fi, and even the ability to wash clothes!"

Dumbledore glared at the man. This was his 'Boss', a man who had suddenly arrived on his doorstep and declared himself to be Dumbledore's boss. He clenched his skinny fists and growled in the most un-Dumbledore-like voice the Hunters have ever heard,"You are _NOT MY BOSS!_"

The angry wizard hurled his pen across the room, past several people, an elephant, George Washington, George _Clooney_, Brad Pitt, and before the pen hit the wall, it made a sharp turn upwards and hit the man in the foot. He yelped and turned into dust.

"Good riddance...."Dumbledore adjusted his spectacles and looked at the Hunters, smiling oddly for an old man. It was crooked, but not Edward Cullen crooked, and happy, but not Barney the purple dinosaur happy. It was a, eh, Dumbledore smile, a one of kind smile. Now available in stores for $10.99!

"Now, who wants pizza?"Aish said.

"Me, if it has vitamin water!"Delora and Cuchilla said gleefully. Aish nodded, and the Hunters charged for the doors. Unlike lemon drops, they absolutely _ADORED_ pizza.

The Hunters were currently unaware of the future challenges that awaited them in the future, one that might cost one of the Hunters their life.

**A/N:That's it for 'Attack of the Plot Bunnies'! Look out for its sequel, 'Attack of the OCs' soon! Applications are still open, so if you apply, you'll be featured in the next story!**


End file.
